Leaving
by Mollz33
Summary: One-shot. Romano says good bye to Spain as he leaves for his independence. Angst for Romano's life story
1. Chapter 1

Quick little one-shot about Romano thanking Spain for taking care of him.

* * *

><p>Romano took a step out the front door of Spain's villa and set his two suit cases down on the ground. Feeling eyes on his back, he turned around. Spain was standing in the doorway with a sad expression on his face.<p>

'It doesn't suit him,' Romano noted rather melancholy.

It wasn't as though Spain didn't know this day would come. He knew that one day, his little tomato would declare his independence and leave. It wasn't the first time this had ever happened and it certainly wouldn't be the last. That English bastard went to war with his colony because he didn't want him to leave. And as much as Spain didn't want Romano to go, as much as Spain wanted to grab Romano and pull him close to his chest and just hold him until the end of time so that they would never be alone, he would rather Romano be happy. Besides, if he let Romano leave on good terms, then maybe Romano would be willing to come back and spend time with him.

But that still didn't mean that Spain was happy that Romano was leaving. Spain stood a measly 3 feet away from Romano. It was such a small distance yet to Spain, it was entirely too long. After so many centuries of taking care of and living with the Italian, Spain had come accustomed to having _someone else _to think about, another person, who wasn't a maid or a servant, who was waiting at home for Spain to return from his pirating journeys. Romano had, unintentionally, changed Spain from the fierce and dangerous pirate into the smilely, loving, and caring man his is today. Just by being his cute little self, Romano had saved Spain from turning into a monster.

And now, his little Romano isn't so little anymore.

"Spain?"

"Sí, mi romanito?"

Romano looked down for a second and brought his head back up. "I just wanted to say… thank you."

Spain gave Romano a confused look.

A small smile appeared on Romano's face. It wasn't a cold smile or a sarcastic smirk. It was a genuine smile that reached his eyes and told Spain that he was speaking truthfully from the heart.

"I know these last few centuries may have tough on you. Seeing as how I'm not the easiest person to live with or talk to or the easiest anything, really." Spain made a motion to argue with Romano, but Romano held up his hand, signalling Spain to stop talking and just listen. "It really means a lot to me that you took me in when no one else would even give me a second glance. When the rest of the world spit me out and laughed in my face, you gave me a home. Before you came along, I didn't know what it meant to have a place where I felt safe and happy. First I was abandoned by Rome, when he took Veneziano away with him and left me behind to be kicked around and beat up by the other countries. I didn't have anyone to protect me And when I finally escaped, I didn't have anyone to clean up my cuts and tell me everything would be okay. I didn't have anyone to hold me and wipe away my tears. I was so alone, so scared, and couldn't trust anyone anymore. My whole life, people had been telling me that I was useless, pathetic, and a complete waste of a country. After a while, once I realised no one would be coming to save me, I really started to believe that I was useless, pathetic, and a waste…" Romano's voice trailed off. "Sometimes, I wondered what would happen if I ended my life. What would happen to my people… would anyone even realise I was gone…would anyone care… I wanted to say that there was at least _one_ person who would care, but deep down, I knew there wasn't. Not even my own fucking family." Spain felt his heart crack as he watched a lone tear make it's way down Romano's cheek.

"Then Rome fell, God I couldn't have been happier, and me and Veneziano were forced to live with that bastard Austria. I thought me and Veneziano could be a family. But I soon realised that I had no idea what a real family was. Veneziano was used to being loved. I was used to being treated like dirt. I did one wrong thing and then Austria kicked me out. If you hadn't come along, I been forced to live in the streets again. I would've been all alone to struggle in the streets like the scum I thought I was." Spain knew that Romano had had a hard life before he came to live with him, but he had no idea just _how_ bad it really was. Hearing his life story now was absolutely heartbreaking. How on earth anyone could have treated a small child in such a way was beyond Spain. No, Romano was not the easiest child to live with and raise. And yes, sometimes Spain had wondered what he had gotten himself into. But in the end, it was all worth it. Spain realised just how special Romano was and according to Romano's life story, Spain was the _only_ person. No one else knew that Romano had been a trillion dollar diamond in the rough when he was a child.

"If it hadn't been for you, Antonio, South Italy would have crumbled and I wouldn't be here today. You took care of me and fed me. If I got hurt, you bandaged me up and kissed it better. If I cried, you hugged me and tried to cheer me up. You chased away my nightmares and surrounded me with smiles and hugs. You gave me a house that kept me warm in the winter and kept me cool during the summer. You taught me how to cook and garden." Romano quietly laughed. "It's because of you that I love tomatoes so much." Spain wanted to laugh, but happiness seemed so far away.

"From the bottom of my heart, thank you Antonio."

"Lovino…"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"Te quiero, Antonio."

"Io ti amerò sempre, Lovino."

* * *

><p>I figured it would mean more to them if they said 'I love you' in the other's language.<p> 


	2. Diamond in the Rough

Spain's Diary

_Well, today started out as a pretty normal day. I woke up from siesta to Lovi cuddling into my chest with a little bit of drool in the corner of his mouth. So I wrapped my arms around him and shifted him so that he was laying on top of me. He then let out a little yawn. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen! Which I exclaimed a little too loud because shortly after, my little Lovi woke up. Luckily, he was still groggy from sleep and wasn't too mad. He just punched my stomach pretty hard and propped his head on his arms while still laying on my chest. The fact that he didn't get up made me grin from ear to ear. So naturally, I tightened my grip around him and pecked him on the lips. _

_Like I said, today started out as pretty normal._

_So I don't know how it turned sour…_

* * *

><p>"Do you have any idea how fucking terrified I am for the day when you wake up and realise that your life would be so much better without me? That you could have anyone you wanted? That in reality, I'm not even worthy of cleaning your shoes and yet for some stupid fucking reason, you still love me and treat me like some precious gem when I should be the one worshipping you!" Romano shouted as he threw an old, heavy book at Spain's face.<p>

Spain easily dodged the book but his mind was dumbfounded. Has Romano been feeling this way all this time? Sure, he's always had self-esteem issues, but he couldn't possibly feel that he was inferior. No no. This must be a dream. A 'too-many-churros-before-bed' induced dream.

"Lovino, what are you saying? You can't possibly believe that you're unworthy to me."

"Yeah, well, you know what? I've known for a long time that I'm unworthy to you. I've known since the day you tried to trade me for Veneziano. Ever since that day, I've _tried _to cook and clean like Veneziano. I've _tried_ to smile and be happier like Veneziano. Just like you always wanted! Bur no matter what, I'll always be the opposite of _Veneziano_! I'm useless, a failure, bratty, I swear too much, I have to force myself to say something nice to you, I can't clean, I can barely cook, the only thing I'm good at is being unwanted!" Romano shouted at Spain.

Spain still could not believe what he was hearing. But soon anger replaced confusion. Anger from knowing that his lovers horrible confessions were partly because of how Spain treated him as a child, always comparing Romano to his brother. It was no wonder the kid had an inferiority complex!

"You have no reason to keep me around anymore and yet you still insist that you love me. I don't understand, Antonio! I'm not worth loving! So why? Why do you love me? _How_ could you love me?"

That's it. Every word Romano speaks rings inside of Spain's head and he knows, that unless Romano stops yelling all the hurtful and horrible things, Spain will break down. Everything Romano said lashed out and made slashes on Spain's heart. Spain's greatest treasure was Romano, he always has been. So to hear such painful thoughts coming from his treasure broke Spain's heart, that was so devoted to Romano and his wellbeing. So Spain knew that he had to be the one to fix this, it was technically his fault, after all. Determined to change his lover's mind, Spain stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Romano's waist tightly, so that Romano couldn't escape, even if he wanted to. Romano fought to get out of Spain's grip, but shortly after, broke down and sobbed into Spain's chest. He wrapped his arms around Spain's middle, as best he could,. Spain brought his head down and rested it on Romano's shoulder so that his mouth was next to Romano's ear, while Romano leaned his head to the crevice under Spain's chin, nuzzling his neck, tears still flowing freely down his cheeks. Gently, Spain began to rub circles on Romano's lower back to try and sooth him.

"Shhh…shh, mi amor. Te queiro, te queiro muchisimo. Yo sólo te quiero. Mi amor. Mi mundo. Mi único amor." Spain whispered lovingly in Romano's ear. "You wonder how I can love you, but you don't seem to understand Lovino. I love you because you are such an amazing person. You have so much more of a personality than Veneziano has and could ever hope to have. You show true emotions, unlike Veneziano, who only seems to have happy feelings. You can understand the seriousness of a situation, something that Veneziano can't do. You like foods that aren't just pasta and love tomatoes, just like me." Spain smiled into Romano's shoulder and felt Romano shiver at the feeling. "You say that you aren't a good cook, but some of the best meals I've ever had the pleasure of tasting have been made by you, Lovino. And I don't know about you, but if I had to eat pasta ever single night, I would go insane." This time, Spain felt Romano smile into his neck. Knowing that he was getting somewhere, Spain brought up his hand, which wasn't rubbing circles, to cup Romano's tear stained cheek and gently wiped away the tears from that side of his face. Spain smiled slightly as he felt Romano lean into his touch, but needed to stay serious for what he was about to confess to his sad lover.

"…I was an idiot back then, Romano…"

"*hiccup* w-what?"

"The way I used to treat you. Always comparing you to your brother…I was an idiot."

Romano looked at Spain with confused, teary eyes, silently begging Spain to go on because _God_, did he need reassurance that Spain was telling the truth every time he told Romano he loved him. That Spain wasn't just keeping him around because Romano was the closest he could get to having Veneziano. Romano needed to know that every 'I love you' was for Romano and not for 'looks like Veneziano just with a bad temper.'

Spain could clearly see Romano's pleading look, so he took in a deep breath. He leaned in a kissed Romano's forehead and rested his head on top of Romano's. "When I was younger, when you first came to live with me, I wanted the very best without working to get it. And if the very best didn't come easy, I would become blinded with anger until I got what I wanted because I was used to getting what I wanted. Only, in your case Romano, I knew that there was Veneziano out there, who was the opposite of you: cheerful, happy, and carefree. So instead of becoming angry, I tried to trade you two. I wanted him because he would be less work and obey me, while you always fought me and never did what I said. It wasn't until I saw how upset you were that I tried to trade you, that I decided to try and teach you how to do things. See, I always thought that you really hated me, but seeing you sad made me see that you didn't hate me completely. I must apologise, mi amor, I always knew that you were upset with me trying to trade you for your brother, but I never knew just how much it hurt you. I did notice how you tried harder to be a better henchman. And I think because you took the initiative to make an effort, that's what made me want to make an effort, too. That's when I started to realise that you had your own qualities and quirks that made you different than Veneziano. You had a fire about you that fascinated me. A fire that Veneziano could only dream of possessing. It wasn't long after that, that I realised that you were diamond in the rough. Blackened by dirt, you were buried under feelings of betrayal, that's why I, and the rest of the world, couldn't see how truly, truly beautiful Italia Romano was." Spain tightened his grip around Romano. "And now, I know that Lovino Vargas is the one I am in love with. He is the one who holds my heart and has made me see that there is more to life than appearances and shallow desires."

Spain pulled back and looked Romano in the eye. "If anyone should be wondering how they can be loved, it should be me. How you could love a man who so foolishly tried to trade his secret diamond for a mindless pawn is beyond me. It anything, Romano, I should be begging you for forgiveness." Suddenly, Spain released Romano form his hold and fell to his knees. "Please Romano, take my undeserving apology. I know I can't take back the horrible things I said to you back then or that I tried to trade you away, but I will do my best to make it all up to you, my love. I promise with all my heart and soul."

Romano looked down into Spain's eyes, in shock from Spain's heartfelt speech. But as soon as he noticed a stray tear slide down Spain's face, Romano launched himself into Spain's arms and wrapped his arms around Spain's neck. "Y-you idiot," a choked cry came from Romano, "of course I forgive you. I love you too much not to. I'm just so glad to know that you really do love _me_. I've waited so long to hear that you love me for me and not for who I look like." Romano brought his lips down and kissed Spain with incredible passion. The kiss caught Spain slightly off-guard, but he quickly came back and kissed Romano back with just as much passion, if not more.

The two lovers spent the rest of the day in bed, cuddling and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Just happy to be in love and together.

* * *

><p><em>Things sure didn't end the way I thought they would. But all in all, today was very important. Things were said that should have been said centuries ago. But I am so glad that my Lovi is feeling better and believes me when I tell him I love him. Because I do love him, a lot. <em>

_So much in fact, that I think I'll call up France tomorrow and ask him to go ring shopping with me. _

_I think it's time I show Lovi just how seriously in love I am with him._

* * *

><p>Well that was a shitty ending :


End file.
